SnaggleTooth

HI GUYS! This is essentially me these days. 

Go Ahead, please press play to the video above. It'll ensure you get the full effect of the enchanting story I'm about to share with you. Now picture a zombie. Like the kind from the TV series, 'The Walking Dead.' It's a big zombie...in the form of my boyfriend, Mychal. And he's chasing me, limping on one leg and moaning. I'm taunting him, all the while playing the song 'I'm sexy and I know it' by LMFAO (video above) on my cellphone. 

I'm running from my zombie predator while doing a little dance and laughing. I turn around and to my astonishment see that the zombie has gone from a limp into a full-fledged sprint. I freak out, spaz out, have a heart attack. I can NOT handle being chased. It scares me to-freakin'-death. And in about .5 seconds, the zombie scooped me up by my waist, I collapsed while flailing my arms and smacked my front teeth as hard as I possibly could with my cell phone. 

And the results are clearly stated by the following pictures: 

I'm Sexy.
And I Know it.

I was able to get the damage repaired within 24 hours after the freak accident. Thank God. Because I looked ridiculous. Not to mention it was painful.
I went to the doctor the evening of the zombie attack to make sure I didn't have nerve damage.
"I know I look stupid, Doctor."
"It's really not that noticeable, Lindsay... ...from a mile away!!"
"Thanks..."
"You're welcome, Snaggletooth." And he laughed.
Good gosh, gotta love an encouraging doctor.  ;)

#NewTeeth

Within the past month I have also deeply cut two different fingers on my hand (one on a mushroom can and another on a stall door in the bathroom), gotten sick, and had an eye infection. So the first picture of Stimpy being all disgusting from 'Ren and Stimpy' is completely legit.

Now all I need to do is order a rubber case for my cell phone.
Then ALL my problems in life would be solved.

Morals of the story: 

1) Avoid Stupid Mistakes 

2) Phone covers are worth the money 

3) When being chased by a zombie, do NOT let him catch you

4) When you think you're sexy, something WILL happen to make sure that you're not 

5) The tooth fairy doesn't exist. (I cried about this one, too...) 

6) If you want to see what you look like with a mustache, use washable marker