She Don't Know She's Beautiful

This is for all you ladies out there who don't feel Beautiful.

Sometimes I feel like I could have written these lyrics: 

"I want to be Beautiful, make you stand in awe. 

[I want you to] Look inside my heart, and be amazed. 

I want to hear you say who I am is quite enough. 

Just want to be worthy of love...

And Beautiful." -Bethany Dillon 

I went back to the Doctor on Thursday to get my stitches taken out. The first thing I asked the Doctor was, "How long will it be before I can run again?" 

"Three weeks," he said.

I'm going to get SO fat, I thought. 

Why? Why did that have to be my first thought? 

Have you ever wondered what the images of women on magazines actually go through to get to "perfection"?  This video shows that process.

I like to think of it like this: 

When Mom asks me to put 10 apples in a bag at the grocery store, I try to find the closest ones to perfect. But what exactly IS perfect? I've never seen a perfect apple. And I never will see a perfect apple. But I have this IDEA of the perfect apple in my head. Therefore, none of the apples I end up putting into the bag are perfect. Then I go to the checkout aisle where I see a magazine of a thin, tan woman in a bikini. I know she's airbrushed, I know she's caked in makeup, and I know she's photo-shopped to the extreme. But yet I think, dang, she looks pretty close to perfect. I wish I could look like that. What?! Do I want to be airbrushed, photo-shopped, and caked in makeup? No...but I have this IDEA of the perfect woman in my head. Therefore, I'll never be good enough until I look like that perfect woman. 

It doesn't matter how many times my boyfriend, my Dad, my Mom, my friends, or anyone else for that matter tell me "Lindsay, you're beautiful." I can still look in the mirror and pick out flaws on every inch of my being, I still feel guilty when I don't exercise, I still feel ugly without makeup, I still feel fat, and I still compare myself to other girls. I'm NOT writing this for there to be 10 comments on this post trying to convince me that I'm beautiful. I don't need that. And in fact, that's the last thing I want. 

I'm writing this to let you ladies out there who feel the way I do that you're not alone. I know that if I told you "YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL," you wouldn't listen. I know how it feels to cry because you feel as if you'll never be good enough. I know how it feels to not eat in order to look thin. I know how it feels to exercise for hours every day to get that "perfect" figure. I know how it feels to be a prisoner to wearing makeup. I know how it feels to have bad acne, and the emotions that come with people actually seeing it. I know how it feels to feel as if your natural hair isn't pretty enough without hair products and styling tools. I know how it feels to step on a scale and have a whole day ruined by a number. And I know how it feels to look at another girl and think, if only I looked like her...

I wouldn't normally post a picture like the one above...but I think that it's necessary. I mean, how many women and girls is this picture describing? How many of us look in the mirror and see something completely warped? 

I'm just sick of all of it! I'm sick of the media telling us that we need to do something to help starving children in Africa, yet they also tell us that we need to starve our bodies in order to be beautiful. Doesn't that sound messed up to you? I'm tired of commercials saying "Buy our shampoo to bring out your natural highlights," "Buy this bra to help enhance your natural curves," "Try this diet to shed that extra 10 lbs to show the beautiful you," "Use this makeup to have flawless skin." 

No, no, no, no, NO. If I have natural highlights...then I don't need your shampoo to bring it out. if I have natural curves, I don't need a bra to enhance them. If I'm really beautiful, then I wouldn't need to lose 10lbs. And if flawless skin were really attainable, maybe then I'd try your makeup. Society is ugly and they know nothing about true beauty.

Going back to my first question...what IS perfection anyways? I've never seen a perfect woman, perfect body, perfect hair, flawless skin...ect. Perfection is what is Perceived by the beholder.  

Perfection=Perception. 

What I mean by this is that it all depends on how you look at yourself. If you look at yourself as a woman who will never reach perfection, than of course you're going to feel bad about yourself. BUT if you look at yourself as a woman who God has already created perfect, then you might actually feel good about yourself. 

Genesis 1:27 says:

"So God created man in his own image, 

in the image of God created he him; 

male and female created he them."   

Let's think about this for a minute. God is perfect, right? This means that God must look perfect, right? And God created us in His own image, right? That means He made us perfect. Each individual. 

It's almost as if God is saying, "Ladies, you are perfect to me." 

And if we're perfect to God, then that's all that matters. If you're like me, and you're sick of feeling terrible about yourself, then two things need to change. First, you need to accept that you were created perfectly, so there is NOTHING that you need to change about yourself in order to be beautiful. Second, you need to accept that GOD'S opinion of you is the only one that really matters. And to Him,YOU are perfect.

Your true beauty is found on the inside. It's your personality, your thoughts, your passions, your HEART that makes you gorgeous. I've seen so many girls who look great outwardly, but they're SO ugly because of their nasty attitudes. So, instead of working so hard to have a perfect outward appearance, maybe we should try harder to make our insides one that is beautiful? You'll be so attractive to people if you have a sweet, caring, loving, kind, thoughtful, confident, and happy countenance. And if God is in your heart, let Him shine. There's nothing more beautiful then a lady in love with Jesus.  

Hey Moms out there: your body is awesome. I don't care how many kids you've had or how worn-out your body looks. You gave your body to have your children, and that is beautiful. 

Hey older ladies out there: your face and hands and body is beautiful. I don't care how wrinkly you think you are. Your body has been through a lot and carries a wonderful story, and that is beautiful. 

Hey young girls out there: you are gorgeous. I don't care how 'uncurvy' or 'unproportioned' you feel, your body is just the way that God wants it to be right now. And that is beautiful. 

Hey Lady: YOU are beautiful. I don't care how curvy, thin, short, tall, different, you look, what color your skin is, or what number shows up when you step on a scale. God has made you special, and that is beautiful. 

It's time that I embrace my body. It's time that you embrace your body. God made us different for a reason. And that's okay. The world would be boring if we all looked the same! 

Eat right, stay active and take care of yourself. And God has already taken care of the rest, so let's embrace it! :) 

Dear God,

"You make me Beautiful. 

You make me stand in awe. 

you step inside my heart, and I am amazed. 

I love to hear you say, 

Who I am is quite enough. 

You make me worthy of love...

And Beautiful."  (Lyrics by Bethany Dillon) 

I know I've already put a video in this post. But I heard this song today and thought, That's what God thinks about me!:) And it's what God thinks about you too.  

  

God, Are You There?

Do you ever doubt God's existence? And if He does exist, have you felt that He really just doesn't care about you?
Me too.
Sometimes, it's not even that I doubt God's existence. I just doubt His existence in my life.
That's how I've been feeling lately.
"Coincidentally" I've "stumbled" upon some information today that highly suggests otherwise.

I had a whole lot of time to spare today at the school. So I spent it in the library. Mostly because it's normally pretty warm in there, and I have access to the computers. Once I finished my homework, checking facebook, and surfing on people's blogs, I "randomly" decided I'd read. Not a book. I must confess, the only time I (typically) read a book is if it has to do with school. And if I read something that doesn't have to do with school, I must learn something from what I'm reading. I cannot read for pleasure's sake; it's dreadfully boring to me. So, I read a National Geographic magazine. And I found this article about twins.

Apparently, Scientists of all sorts have been studying twin;s DNA makeup in great depth for several years. Scientists of the past have said that the two factors, Nature and Nurture, is what develops people into who they are. In other words,
"We forget that 50 years ago things like alcoholism and heart disease were thought to be caused entirely by lifestyle. Schizophrenia was thought to be due to poor mothering. Twin studies have allowed us to be more reflective about what people are actually born with and what's caused by experience."

Now Scientists are saying that instead of only being two factors into making a person who he/she is, there's also a third factor called Epigenetics.

"If you think of our DNA as an immense piano keyboard and our genes as keys—each key symbolizing a segment of DNA responsible for a particular note, or trait, and all the keys combining to make us who we are—then epigenetic processes determine when and how each key can be struck, changing the tune being played." Now, take a look at this story: 

"The story began with the much publicized case of two brothers, both named Jim. Born in Piqua, Ohio, in 1939, Jim Springer and Jim Lewis were put up for adoption as babies and raised by different couples, who happened to give them the same first name. When Jim Springer reconnected with his brother at age 39 in 1979, they uncovered a string of other similarities and coincidences. Both men were six feet tall and weighed 180 pounds. Growing up, they'd both had dogs named Toy and taken family vacations in St. Pete Beach in Florida. As young men, they'd both married women named Linda, and then divorced them. Their second wives were both named Betty. They named their sons James Alan and James Allan. They'd both served as part-time sheriffs, enjoyed home carpentry projects, suffered severe headaches, smoked Salem cigarettes, and drank Miller Lite beer...they had the same crooked smile, their voices were indistinguishable, and they both admitted to leaving love notes around the house for their wives." 

Weird, right? 

Epigenetics is also what explains identical twins that look the same, share the same DNA, but act completely different. National Geographic said that "Mother Nature" is what is responsible for epigenetics. Personally, I believe that God gave humans epigenetics. Isn't it funny how twins who share the exact same DNA are inclined to do the same things in their lives even when they aren't raised together? Maybe the identical twins who experience this is just God trying to tell us something? Maybe this implies that God actually programmed us with a plan for our lives? I mean, not all of us have identical twins to test this theory...but it sure gave me something to think about. 

If you want to read more about epigenetics, go to NationalGeographic.com. 

Another interesting thought that I "stumbled" upon today came from my Philosophy text book I was reading while waiting at the Doctor's office. I was reading one of Plato's works entitled, "Meno." It was a dialogue between Socrates and a guy named Meno. The main premise of the dialogue is that Socrates is trying to prove to Meno that people "do not learn, and what we call learning is only a process of recollection." 

As I began to read this, I thought, "How stupid. That makes no sense." 

But then I got more and more into it...

Socrates begins to ask simple questions about geometry to Meno's slave. The slave has never been taught or schooled. Socrates draws a simple square and then asks hundreds of simple questions that begin with "this is a square?" and ending with still simple yet complex questions about the geometry of a square. The unschooled slave answered every question correctly. This then proves to Meno that the untaught slave knew about geometry the entire time. He just had to be asked simple questions in order to unlock his knowledge. 

Socrates ends with: "And if the truth of all things always exists in the soul, then the soul is immortal. Wherefore, be of good cheer, and try to discover by recollection what you do not now know, or rather what you do not remember." 

This got me thinking, what if Socrates really was onto something here?  

So...I decided to test it on my youngest brother. Of course, he's been schooled quite a bit. But at any rate, he was the best test subject I have. I decided to use phonics questions to sound out a word. Mostly because I'm too lazy to spend an hour asking geometry questions. So I spelled out each letter, one at a time, asking questions like, "This is an 'H', right? And and H makes this sound, right?" He answered, "Well yeah." By the time we got to the end, I asked, "What does this spell?"...

 "Hieroglyphics," he said. "Tad, before I asked you those questions, would you have been able to sound out this word?" He said no.   

...Strange. He knew how to sound out every letter separate and even every letter combination, but yet he couldn't read that word. 

The book said that this forgotten or locked knowledge was learned by people in a previous existence. I believe that if learning really is just recollecting what we already know...then God has programmed that  information into his creation. How cool!  

"He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end." -Ecclesiastes 3:11 

I looked up the word origin of the word 'world' in this verse and it means "Man's Existence."  

So, I guess that means that God intended for me to ask questions, but not to understand everything. :) 

The last thing I "stumbled" upon today was a video posted by at least 4 of my facebook friends. I thought it  was super awesome. It says everything I've never been able to put into words about religion. 

Even though I began today doubting God's existence in my life, I'm ending today feeling pretty confident. He is very existent in my life, He has a plan for me, He created me so darn special and detailed that philosophers and scientists can't even wrap their heads around it, and He took care of everything on the cross. I don't need religion to make Him love me anymore. 

How awesome is that?! 

My Family

Being in the mood to write + Nothing to write about = Me actually telling you something about myself.  
How about we talk about a few of the people in my life? 

Family? Yes... I have one of those. I have a Dad and a Mom. Plus three younger brothers. (I've been told that makes me the oldest.) We live in the heart of the Shawnee National Forest in Southern IL, which is pretty darn entertaining.  
 I would definitely not call us your "typical family." 




---> Dad is that kind of Dad that tells a nervous guy, "I'll be cleaning my guns when you get home." And I am NOT exaggerating. He actually has a t-shirt that he wore just last week while my boyfriend was visiting that plainly reads: "D.A.D.D. -Dads Against Daughters Dating. Shoot the first one, and the word spreads." Lovely, isn't it? Dad's idea of a hobby is dressing up in primitive hunting-wear and killing small forest critters. His idea of a diet is eating bacon, steak, and eggs along with a black cup of coffee for every meal. He can fix anything from a crashed laptop to a house that needs remodeling. Fixing is his expertise. Therefore, we don't pay to have anything fixed around our house. I don't think Dad has a facial expression in-between smiling and looking angry. So, even when he's not mad, he looks like he is. And luckily, I've been told I inherited this wonderful trait - Joy. But even though he appears rough, he's one of the sweetest guys you'll ever meet. And he's a dedicated follow of Jesus Christ who loves to share his faith. He's definitely the best Dad I could ever ask for, no questions asked. 



---> Mom is the kind of Mom that comes to the door to greet my friends with fresh-out-of-the-oven cookies and says, "If you leave my house hungry, it's your own fault." She's always got something to say and the best advice. Ever have a moment when everyone sees something in your life that you don't see, but you should see? Yeah, well, Mom is the only person in my life with enough courage to actually voice those things to me. She could be a comedian and not have to quit her day job...That's just how funny she is. Taking a random drive down a country road at 5am or 9pm? Mom is the lunatic runner you see on the side of the road taking her daily 5 mile jaunt. The Eye Doctor messed up your contacts? Mom's the smiling secretary at the front desk of the office who you get to yell at for it. She's a homeschool Mom, but not the kind that wears long, skirted jean-jumpers. She's also a singer, a pianist, and a teen Sunday school teacher at church. She's in love with Jesus Christ, and her relationship with Him is something she takes very seriously. I regularly get asked if she's my sister. And my guy friends from school actually get nervous when they meet her... ahem. No, I will not trade her. Even though I know you're thinking, "I want your Mom for my Mom." Sorry, she's irreplaceable. 

---> Adam is the second child. He's extremely intelligent... Gosh, I hope he doesn't read this and get a big head. He's the brother who can read in his room for 7 hours for pleasure and think nothing of it. He's the last one to know anything in our family. Literally, we could be taking an 8-day vacation and he wouldn't know about it until the night before we left. Don't ask me how that works. He's a gamer...'nuff said. He'll definitely have the doors being beaten down by girls here real soon. Actually, he sort of already does. In a few years, he could be a model for Hollister - No joke. And he's also the brother I feel the need to strangle the most because he finds joy in annoying the heck out of me. But I love the heck out of him, and I think he thinks I'm alright too.

 ---> Seth is the third child. He keeps to himself mostly. But he's probably the sweetest, most loving person in our family. The family motto is, "If something is going to happen, it will happen to Seth." And it's true. If someone can trip down a hill, it will be Seth. If someone might spill something, it will be Seth.  If someone might forget something, it will be Seth. And he often takes an hour to brush his teeth...because of distractions. But his heart is one of pure gold and his smile can melt your heart like butter. He does a killer impersonation of an English boy, and he loves to wear full suits to church. He doesn't complain, and he doesn't whine when there's work to be done. That's just the way he is. And when he says he loves you, he means it from the bottom of his heart. There's just something special about that boy that I really can't describe in words. He'd do absolutely anything for me. And I love him to pieces. 

---> Tad is the youngest child. I guess you could say he's a free spirit? That child is nothing but nonsense. We call him our "comedian of the family." He's basically a 9-year-old going on 29. You never can guess what's going to come out of his mouth. And he thinks that he's a ladies man. He told Mom recently, "You know, there was a girl I seen at the parade who I wanted to whisk off of feet and just kiss her real long and hard." We later found out that she was about my age. And he whispered in my ear a few weeks ago, "You know, I've been keeping a secret from the whole family for years. I actually... have an amazing singing voice."  He could probably live off of Cheez-Its. He hates wearing a shirt, and loves to wear cow-boy boots. When he grows up, he wants to be an artist/recycling truck driver/four-wheeler stunt devil. He's the brother who often leaves notes that say "I love you" with his hand-made 'jewelry' attached to them on my bed while I'm at school. I definitely love him to death. 

So, there you have it. My family! 

Oh wait...and then there's me. 
I'm the only daughter and only sister. I enjoy running, but I wouldn't call myself a runner. I'm not consistent enough. I enjoy art, but I'm not an artist. I love to take pictures, but I'm not a photographer. I love to play classical music on the piano, but I'm no professional. I make good grades in school, but I'm no genius. I have to work really hard to make the grades that I do. I love to write, but I'm not a writer. I enjoy baking, and I like cooking. It's easy to make me laugh. I love, love, love music. Which is how you can explain my strange obsession with 50s music. Feel free to laugh, but my favorite TV shows to watch are Ren and Stimpy and The Office. But when I'm at my Grandparents house I watch  the Maury show.  Without a doubt, I'm in love with Jesus Christ. He's the best thing in my entire life. Annnnnnd, I'm starting to feel like I'm filling out an 'About Me' for an online dating site right about now. No, I do not enjoy taking long walks on the beach. And I do not enjoy romantic, candle-lit dinners. Okay...yes I do. 

Anyways, at least now you know a little bit about the family I come from now.